I like reading fantasy because there is usually a good vs. evil theme and after many struggles, the good wins. I like this because it is true of the ultimate Story of the world – good and evil are real, they are warring against each other, but ultimately, eventually, finally good wins once and for all. Not all fantasy works have direct parallels to our world or Christianity, but you can often find at least hints of such parallels, and I enjoy looking for them. I also enjoy the fantastical worlds in which the stories are set, worlds with creatures and rules different than our own.  I don’t have much of an imagination myself, so I’m amused by the imagintive works of others.

For those of you who enjoy fantasy, or if you’re new to fantasy or don’t think you’d like it, I’d recommend the novel Stardust by Neil Gaiman. Even though I’m a fantasy fan, I’ll be the first to admit that all those epic battle scenes in The Lord of the Rings sometimes left me turning the pages thinking, “Ugh, when can I get back to the interesting parts?” That’s one thing I liked about Stardust – no battle scenes. Perhaps I’d label it as Fantasy Lite. It’s also relatively short.

The story set-up: Tristran Thorn promises Veronica, the girl he loves, that he will find and bring her a fallen star. To do this, he leaves his little English town of Wall and journeys into Faerie, a land of mythical creatures. He finds the star, who is a living female being named Yvaine, and sets to bring her back to Veronica. Their journey back through Faerie is quite eventful, however, in part because various others want to capture Yvaine for their own purposes. Intrigue and surprise revelations ensue.  It’s part adventure, part love story, and makes for a pretty quick and enjoyable read.

Perhaps you saw the movie version last year. If you have, leave a comment and let me know if it was good.

This one is in honor of my friend, Karin, who suffers from the inexplicable condition of not being able to read fiction.

In the record I keep of books I’ve read, I rated Marley & Me as one of my favorite books of the year in which I read it. This is saying a lot since I came to it pretty reluctantly. It was on the New York Times Bestsellers list for hundreds of weeks. I’d heard that every dog owner and lover would just adore it. Well, I’ve never had a pet in my life and I’m sort of afraid of and don’t like any animals. (I’m sure there’s no way those two things could be related, right?)

I also heard that despite the description of Marley as “the world’s worst dog,” it might make readers actually want a dog. Eek! I didn’t want a dog, and I didn’t want to want a dog, either. Another reason not to read it.

So, when my husband bought it for me, I returned it, because that’s the kind of appreciative gift-receiver I am. Sometime later, he brought a borrowed copy home from work, so I gave in, and let me tell you, there’s a reason it was on the Bestsellers list for so long! (Duh.) It’s not just for dog owners or lovers, though if you are either you might identify more with the stories. There are few books that truly make me laugh out loud while reading, and this was one of them. (Warning: It also made me cry.) It’s not just about the dog, either. It’s basically a narrative of the author, John’s, journey into marriage and parenthood with stories about their (possibly literally) crazy dog, Marley, woven in. And yes, he is indeed lovable but thankfully, the book did not make me want a dog. Whew!

Check it out from the Orange County Library if you think you might be interested. There are several other versions more suited to younger audiences. Marley: A Dog Like No Other has the “marital” parts taken out of it. A picture book for beginning readers is called Bad Dog Marley!. A third called Marley & Me: Illustrated Edition is the book with pictures, I’m guessing.  And because this is the fate of all bestsellers, a movie adaption is coming out around Christmas, starring Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson.

Don’t forget that the Grab & Grow Dessert is next Friday, August 22 at 7:30. Even if you haven’t finished, come and enjoy some delicious dessert from TooJay’s along with fellowship and conversation. I’m going!

And speaking of not finishing the book…well, I did finish it, but this week has not been one that’s allowed me to think through and write. So, here’s my question for those who’ve read it, either now or in the past: What is the most meaningful thing you’re taking away from Bravehearts?

If you’ve been reading Bravehearts in a group, what did your group’s discussion focus on when you got to chapers 7, 8 and 9? I’m just curious. Now that I’ve read a good portion of the book, I realize that I’d love to actually be in a group and talk some things over in person! I guess that’s the whole point of the Grab & Grow Challenge, huh?

For me, Chapter 8 was a reminder of what we’re often taught at UPC – that we can only forgive and love to the extent that we realize how much we’ve been forgiven and how much we are loved. And not just that we’ve been forgiven, but what we been forgiven for. We must realize the depth and width of our sin in order for Jesus’ work and sacrifice and the Father’s forgiveness to mean as much as it ought. So, chapter 8 focused on confession, repentance, and the liberation of forgiveness that enables us to love others and pursue meaningful relationships without shame.

I enjoyed Chapter 9, “Heart Skills,” wherein Sharon gives 4 practical ways to love well.

1. See with Your Heart – Be on the lookout for other people’s strengths, gifts, and abilities. This might take some true patience and detective work if you have very difficult-to-love people in your life. I actually don’t have “difficult” people in my life, and yet I’m very quick to be critical of my family and friends, and overlook positive qualities in order to dwell on negative ones. This is a direct effect of idealism. I unconsciously hold people to my unrealistic expectations and then get frustrated when they don’t measure up. I’ve become aware of this is recent years and think I’m making progress in being aware of when I’m doing this.

2. Speak from your heart – also known as speaking the truth in love. I liked how Sharon reminds us several times that it’s not our job to change people – it’s God’s. This is very freeing to me. She also gives three ways to speak from your heart.

   a. Pay attention to yourself – Even though we can’t change others, we can change ourselves. We can ask what we can do differently in a particular relationship. Let’s not always assume it’s the other person’s fault!

   b. Pray about timing, if you do need to say something.

   c. Practice without words – that is, let actions do the talking. She gives a list of creative ways to demonstrate love.

3. Wear your heart on your sleeve – This is not fashionable, but I like her point that God does it, so we shouldn’t be afraid to do the same. Why should it be a crime to admit that we want to love and be loved? Everyone in the world wants this, and yet for some reason we aren’t really allowed to talk about it. How ridiculous! Sharon says that we need to be vulnerable and willing to risk disappointment if we’re going to love well.

4. Sacrifice for your heart – This is where Sharon makes the case that loving extravagantly will not always change your circumstances or the people around you, but it will change you. Evidently, people who are available for deep, emotional relationships are healthier and live longer (p. 160). I’m missing what she means by “sacrifice for your heart,” however. Did anyone understand that part?

In Chapter 5, Sharon writes about the hard-hearted woman. She says that a heart of stone is nurtured by these four “uniquely feminine behaviors in relationship: jealousy, comparisons, envy, and gossip.” I sort of laughed at the”uniquely feminine” bit. Is that really true? I guess it probably is.

Jealousy – being afraid of being left out in relationships. I liked her discussion on God declaring Himself jealous and how that shows us just how far He’s willing to go to be in a right relationship with us. I liked how she said that jealousy has holy longing as its root and can be directed toward positively impacting relationships as long as it’s identified, admitted, and worked through. Instead of wallowing in self-pity when we perceive we’re being left out of a relationship, do something constructive about it! Confess it. Talk to the person who it involves. Don’t let it eat you and turn your heart cold.

Comparison – this is what unchecked jealousy leads to. Comparing ourselves to others keeps us focused on ourselves, the material, the superficial, and on what we don’t have. It can lead to false humility (I’m not as good as she is at fill-in-the-blank), and it cripples self-esteem. So, stop it, I tell you! Just stop. Easier said than done, I know. I am the poster child for this one.

Gossip – wounding another’s reputation with our words to another person.

Envy – when it pains you to see others get what you want; when you can’t rejoice with those who rejoice; when you’re sickened at the sight of others’ success. Have you ever felt this way? The only reason I can so freely say that I have is because I know I’m not alone. Isn’t this just the blackest of the black? I’m appalled at myself. But this is what a sin nature is. This is the whole reason Jesus died for me. My heart is nasty like this.

Sharon writes that guilt can be a blessing, and I have to agree. It’s what causes us to repent. Sharon suggests replacing these behaviors with an attitude of gratitude. She writes that gratitude moves us from believing that we are lacking to rejoicing that we are blessed.

I won’t ask whether you struggle with any of these things because I know the answer and I also know you don’t want to discuss the dirty details in the comment section! I’m wondering, however, if any of you did either of the two exercises Sharon suggests at the end of chapter 5 - monitoring your self-esteem and asking yourself the three questions she gives, and/or not going to sleep without expressing gratitude to another person and to God. How did these activities impact you?

A brief word on Chapter 6: Sharon writes that holy longing for meaningful relationship has been written into our make-up by the Creator, but when we ignore, discount, misunderstand, or disregard it, we often look elsewhere for satisfaction, leading to what she calls an affair of the heart. Mary Beauvais had good thoughts on this chapters a few weeks ago. Check it out.